It's all gone a bit Alan Bennett

That Disappointing Stilton Discussion in full:
This Stilton's a bit disappointing.
Yes, it is rather disappointing.
Last year's was much better.
No, last year's was disappointing.
Was it? Oh yes. It was rather disappointing now I think about it.
Not as disappointing as this one.
New person enters the room ...
Oh. That Stilton looks a bit disappointing.
Yes, it is rather disappointing ..
Repeat as necessary, as many times as you like, throughout Christmas and Boxing Day.

That Sprout Row in full:
How many sprouts shall I do?
How many of us are there?
Six.
Do six each.
Ok.
Later ...
You haven't done enough sprouts.
I've done exactly how many you asked me to do.
It's not enough! Do more sprouts!!
Later ...
Why have you done so many sprouts? That's far too many. We'll never eat all those.
Later still ...
Throw those sprouts away. I don't know why you did so many. What were you thinking?! No one ever eats that amount of sprouts.

This is why I love Christmas. I really, really love it.
But only once a year.

Today we went for a walk, had a bonfire, ate Turkey pancakes and bubble and squeak, finished all the nice ones in the Quality Street, ran out of clementines, packed, drove home, unpacked. And the next person who says they're hungry is going to get it.