The Yard Crawl

The best moments I spent with my mother-in-law Allison, usually included a glass of red wine.

Sitting by the pool or perhaps in front of the fireplace, we’d have lengthy discussions about life in general: the world, politics, the kids, and naturally, my favorite: sports. Allison was notorious for diving into a passionate 45-minute dissection and analysis on the games du jour (Tigers, Lions, Red Wings, Pistons, & U of M equivalents). By the time that topic was exhausted, we’d need to pause for another bottle of wine, a trip to the bathroom; then we’d regroup outside for a meticulous yard crawl.

Glass of wine in hand, she led our tour of her beautiful garden and discussed all things great and small -the blighted tomatoes, the particularly brilliant bee balm, and which plants were devious volunteers. We’d comment on every botanical delight from Spring’s delicate Columbine and the fresh burst of Alliums, to Summer’s sun-loving Yarrow, mounding Coreopsis, triumphant oriental lilies, to Autumn’s burgundy sedum, jazzy red Helenium, and the pale purple Echinacea. There was never a shortage of complaints about the unwelcome deer and a constant stream of laughter over G’Pa’s antics to torture or relocate ruthless squirrels raiding the bird feeders.

And the birds rewarded their hero with their busy colorful traffic at the feeders, which were suspended from the outstretched languid limb of the honey locust tree in front of the kitchen window. Black-capped chickadees, blue jays, downy woodpeckers, and tufted titmouse birds foraged through seeds and nuts, putting on quite the show. Once in a great while, we’d spy a ruby-throated hummingbird coming in for a quick sip and investigative look at us. I will always treasure these graceful, simple moments shared with Allison.

One of Allison’s favorite flowers has always been the fragrant, late spring bloom of the blushing peony and I have come to treasure it in my garden, too. Many a favorite memory was touring together U of M’s Peony Garden at Nichols Arboretum. The garden holds nearly 800 peonies and up to 10,000 flowers at peak bloom. So, one can imagine the enchantment we were immersed in, sharing in the joy and delight of these aromatic blossoms.

Over twenty years our relationship grew and blossomed, too. Allison has always been a generous and supportive mother in law, encouraging me to explore and discover new things. She shared with me her adamant belief that I didn’t have to choose between a professional career and motherhood. It was safe and healthy to eat butter. Make informed, well-researched decisions.  There is no substitute for good quality anything.

Just over twelve years ago, the minute Lewis was born, she hopped a plane to Minnesota to help us with our first new baby. I had a hard recovery from the C-section, and she was there pulling me out of bed and helping me walk. And when Alyssa was born, she journeyed to Pennsylvania to again cook, clean, and hold the new grandchild in every spare moment. At home and during her travels, she was always knitting a sweater, a hat, socks, or a scarf. It is not surprising that she taught Alyssa the craft of knitting, too. Not only did she inevitably pass on to her grand kids the Haw family gene of thick wavy hair, but the kids also share in Allison’s love of books. With every visit, the kids were treated to G’Ma’s bedtime stories, and to this day, they are voracious insatiable readers, who rank a trip to the library just as magnificent as a trip to the ice cream parlor.

It’s hard not to be inspired by this adoring mother of the man I love, by this amazing and engaging grandmother to three beautiful grandchildren. Allison enjoyed a rewarding career, a bountiful garden, and a remarkable life journey.

As we take our evening yard crawl, glass of wine in hand, we will continue...

To delight in the seasonal bloom,
Note the gentle breeze,
Listen to the bird’s call,

and know that Allison is still with us.