A Low Day

Today has been spent on the sofa in my pj’s. I had no inclination to do anything, and again have that uneasy feeling in me that something bad is going to happen.

I have cried, self -harmed and generally felt quite anxious for no apparent reason.

4.30 came and I had to get in the shower to go and pick grandma up, to go to Mums for tea.
Here Grandma is reading Lewis  a story.

Back home after taking grandma home and I don't trust myself to be safe. I have this overwhelming feeling to go to sleep and not wake up. Life would be easier if I wasn't here.  I feel agitated and I know sleep won't be easy. I hate being me and I don't understand how my brain works; how I can feel ok one day and so low the next. The tears are flowing.
I am dreading tomorrow; I have nothing to do and a whole day to fill.