'Seconds Out!'

‘I know he has more than his fair share of this high protein, veggie, feelgood, cute duck on the packet stuff  (why she just doesn’t bring a bagful of Tesco’s cheapo white I don’t know – much more filling on a freezing day like today!)  Anyway the only way to solve this is through a fair fight so back to your corners of the deck and, when I give the wing, you can come out squawking at each other to your heart’s content.  You’re allowed pecking, jumping on each other, knocking off the rail, coming in from all sides, all that gull behaviour stuff.  I don’t mind what you do as long as you don’t let the mallards get in whilst you’re falling out in heaps with each other.  Up themselves big style those mallards!’