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The secret to getting him to eat things appears to be to not attempt to feed him the traditional breakfasts and suppers of Weetabices and porridges but to allow him to feed on Just Right or Bran Flakes, using a big spoon. This has the added advantage of getting him to allow himself to be fed in addition to attempting to manipulate his own spoon.

One trip to Soul Cycles at lunchtime and Homebase on the way home resulted in a pair of crank-retaining nuts and a 14mm socket, which has now resulted in a sparebike with two attached pedals, which may now be employed to glide smoothly to work on studded tyres through the snow and ice tomorrow morning, if what's lying outside just now is anything to go by.