Unbelievable

After the storm of male protest on yesterday’s Blip, I need to get this out the way first:
 I DID NOT SAY I UNDERSTOOD THEM.
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I have deliberated for a long time as to whether to post this Blip and have come to the conclusion that honesty is the best course and if I am to show the nice things, also have to do the bad ones. And perhaps it will help someone avoid a similar trap. However it doesn't ease the personal hurt to ego or wallet. In the old days we could turn off comments and stars for individual posts but either I can't find the function or, as I think, we can now only turn on/off all comments for all entries.


Blipers should read no further. The motto of the Blip is simply:
DO look a gift horse in the mouth and if possible get a second opinion.
For a bit of cheap “Schadensfreude”, friends can read further. Family will be able to read why any hoped for inheritance does not exist when the will is read. I am assuming yesterday’s “Kill me Kate” will follow soon.


Early morning, Angie had just ridden out with the dogs when a car drives up to the house, a new large Skoda estate from a national hire company. With motor running, the driver (alone) lets down the window and asks me where the “Kitchen Joinery” is, waving a hand in the direction of the village. This happens often as the joinery is two house numbers but 800m away. I say where it is but add it isn't a kitchen joinery but mainly do staircases.(I had spotted his Dutch accent and possible misuse of a term) He says yes, he had been in and been told. Then occurred to me there was a large off the beaten track Kitchen Studio about 5km away and said I would get a map from the car. Returned, motor still running, driver still sitting while I looked at map only to find it was just off the map. I said he should turn off the motor which he did and got out. I said „you are Dutch aren't you?“ to which he replied yes and I said I was English and he asked me if I knew the Ideal Home Show which he was always at. He had just been in Munich at an exhibition. Did I know “Schuhbeck”, yes of course I know Alfons, the grandfather of the German TV cook world and a god like figure in Bavaria. He has cooked at Buck House for HRH, is the Bayern Munich FC cook and owns an empire of food/restaurant businesses in Munich including a kitchen shop.  “He’s a great guy and has sold over 400 knife sets for me”. Given Alfons has done ads for McDonalds, I could well imagine he does knives.


Then got some more maps from the house but still couldn’t find a suitable one. He said don’t worry, he had a SatNav, just tell him the village name. Westerheim I said – Yes, already been there but the boss wasn’t in. I scratched my head trying to think where one could be. He casually looked at his watch and said he still had a bit of time before getting to the airport and return the hire car before his flight home. He goes to the car opens the rear and pulls out a briefcase with a set of flashing kitchen knives. “You see I can’t take these through security and need a kitchen shop to take them off my hands” as he pulls a glossy brochure from the case with the swiss flag and a smallish printed box with the price in EUR/GBP/CHF. Wow 899 Euros! Then I spot two large glossy cardboard boxes with pictures of a kitchen saucepan set and in big capital letters “AMC”. I know the products from this Swiss company are highly praised by those who have them. One sees them at large exhibitions and fairs (I mocked them on a Blip in August). You can’t simply buy the pots (prices not shown) but have to go through a lengthy 1:1 counselling interview at the conclusion of which you get a financing offer to pay for the exorbitant set you chose. I thought perhaps they had now loosened their direct sale only policy. The AMC initials like Tupperware are well known and I know Angie would love a set especially as we have had problems for years with our cheap supermarket pots & pans.


“Oh, I said those are nice but of course unaffordable”; yes he replies casually flipping up the box lid pulling out a saucepan lid with the unique AMC built in thermometer in the handle and another glossy brochure with the price of 1489.00 Euros. He makes a move to close the rear lid and says if you want you could have one of the (four) knife sets for half price. No thanks, I said, beyond my budget. The car lid goes down a bit more, then he lets it glide up again as he looks at his watch again. “Do you know what, time is getting on. Is there likely to be a problem with jams around Munich getting to the airport on a Friday?” Yes could well be as Germany packs up for the weekend at midday on Friday. Hell he says do you know what? Do you have children who cook? Tell you what. Do a bit of advertising for our pots and you can have a set for yourself, one for the children and I’ll throw in the 4 knife sets and all of that for the price of one knife set and then I can get home for the weekend. No I said shaking my head, you must be joking. No No it’s all OK but I can’t get it through security. Come on I say. No he says collecting papers from the front of the car. I’ll give you an invoice, the guarantee of course. Look here on the invoice, the address, phone number. I’ve got my flight ticket and here my ID card, look he says opening it with a photo, presumably taken end 80’s I guess from the silly haircut from that time. I said when were you born? 1970 he says pointing to the printed date.


No – I’m an Englishman and very honest (! - seriously I did say that!) and don’t want to do anything illegal. "No No. It really is OK". Thinking of Angie’s pleasure and after yesterday’s Blip I gave in and we drive to the village where I withdrew the money and he puts all the gleaning goods in the car. Just as I was handing over the wad of notes, the mobile rang with Angie no doubt calling to say I should come and pick up Flash. Searching through my pockets (still in stable muck out clothes/coats/wellies), eventually found and put the phone to my ear as he semi counts the wad, nods his head, shakes my free hand and is gone. Hell- no invoice but I did note the car number. Drove out to Angie and said “I have either got a great pressie for you or I have been taken to the cleaners, big time.


Returned home, dived indoors, cranked up notebook called up the Schubeck page but no sign of knives, then AMC and see a big notice- “Beware of fraud”. Google “AMC+fraud”. Google throws out some 40,000 sites going back over 10 years and all the same system. A Dutchman, hire car, airport, customs or security, high quality looking packaging and brochures…...


As I had some current information, thought it was my "good citizen" duty to contact police but checked first with a friend whose father is in the force. Yes do it, here is the Memmingen station number which was also according to the Bavarian Police Website the one for our postcode. No we aren’t responsible call the Mindelheim station, do you want the number? No will be on the website – it wasn’t! Phone Memmingen again get the number. I then woke up the Mindelheim duty officer. “brzzzZii” Sorry I didn’t catch that, who is on the phone? “POLIZEI”.  Ah, look I have some current info about a trickster, his method well known to the police and…….. “Slowly….now when did it happen? Listen if you really want, we can accept a complaint but you will need to come in, we can’t come out you know, and it doesn’t help to have the license number on the phone and, (no doubt yawning) if you think it would help, you can think about whether you want to come by and make a (long tedious) written complaint. Have a nice day.”


I was horrified and angry. Looked through the web a bit and gradually realized why I got the reaction. The crown prosecutor has little or no chance of a successful case: Did he ever say they were THE AMC pots?  No. Real AMC stands for “Alpha Metalcraft Corporation” – nobody knows this name, just the same as no one knows the full name of the famous “WMF” kitchen utensils brand. On the boxes next to the large AMC letters are “Authentic Master Cooking” not a sign of the “real” brand name. He had lied only once – I assume Alfons has never sold a single knife set for him.


Spoke to Luna’s Berlin connections with a good knowledge of the law. Yes I should still report the event and though now time lost, they can check out the hire car and/or whether it was stolen. Should at least complete an online complaint, which was the very first thing I had tried but no page found on the Bavarian police website. He (sitting at his desk and also an expert on the web) looks it up as we talk and can’t believe it. He even checks out the Mindelheim station details and shakes his head at the missing info. Regardless, report it as it is a clear case of deception. Then sit back and forget it, add it to the list of life experiences.


It was now late, Angie was mumbling under her breath all the time and I could hear some of the comments but tried to avoid the “if eyes could kill” looks. Luckily when I said I didn’t feel like a sauna, she packed her bag and disappeared to the sauna in Ottobeuren. I did the horse bedding and set off across the fields with the dogs for an early evening walk. No way I was going to do a 40km round trip to the police and be told “if you get involved in shady deals, you only have yourself to blame”.


Luck on my side as I saw MrB parking his “new” tractor with its very smart new industrial front loader and the forest winch on the back. He had just got in from the forest, pulling out some large tree trunks for his hunting friends from Berlin who will be coming later in the year for their weeks deer shoot and want some timber to make a fancy big entrance to their property in Berlin.


I was able to off-load my anger on an understanding ear and have a good moan about how heartless women were in such situations! Despite her denials, I know that she would have fallen for it had she been alone. OK she may not have been as greedy as I was!


Looking at it now, I am amazed at the amount of criminal energy put in to this trick. The sets really do look fantastic. The packaging, brochures, photos, the credit card type guarantee card with gold chip… Only when you take the pots in the hand or look closely at the knives cutting edges do you get an inkling. Of course, unlike the normal “out of the car boot” in an Aldi car park or motorway service area, he had perfect conditions at our place. No witnesses, no stress, no time problems and an idiot who sold himself the idea that he was dealing with quality products. He never made (or needed to) a single effort at hard sell. The initial 50% on a knife set was a casual “if you are interested”, not a word of quality, value, once iin a lifetime ...etc.


I was always a bit skeptical but thought when the final unbelievable offer was made, that it really was so unbelievable it had to be OK – I know the margins some of the best brands have on their products, especially those involved in direct sales with all their commission structures.


Yes there were hints and had Angie been there, I think we would have seen through it.



Oh well at least the children know what they will be getting next Christmas or as "the final assets of the dece.......", whichever happens first!