Insensitivity

Despite yesterday's duvet day I was still tired this morning. I think it was because of the late night last night, writing to #1 son.

I made it back to the church choir today. Sometimes the words of songs in church really speak to you and today was such a day.

'The pain that will not go away, the guilt that springs from things long past, the fear of what the future holds, are present as if meant to last.
But present too is love which tends the hurt we never hoped to find, the private agonies inside, the memories that haunt the mind.'

Kind of sums up how I am trying to stop myself feeling. Today's memories are Chelsea Flower Show (May 2006,a great week-end, just before I stopped work) and Monaco (July 2001 when #2 son and I were driven round the race track during the family camping holiday to the South of France). I took my mind off it by texting just Allanto confirm tomorrow night's Filmhouse outing. I need it.

Unfortunately when I got home from church this car was parked right opposite my front door. You would have imagined that tact would have prevailed and another space, closer to #64 would have been found. But no, insensivity piled on insensitivity.

But finally the sun shone today and after sorting out the wardrobe and achieving 2 bags of clothes to 'schwap', or at least take to the charity shop, it was to the garden. I still have too many clothes (and I've just bought loads more) so how come I never have anything to wear?

6 weeks of ghastly weather has encouraged the weeds (as if they needed much encouragement) so it was down on my hands and knees hauling out sticky willow and millions of sycamore seedlings. Got about one third done so I hope next week-end will be good too and I can get on with it and maybe start putting plants in, instead of pulling things out.

A wedding for October has been confirmed, in Troon. Wonder what I'll wear?

Now I have to go and scrub the earth off my hands and feet (I garden in flip flops, very dirty toes) and take #2 son for a birthday meal. He's 26 on Tuesday. For him the benefits of the current situation is he that gets taken out for two free meals on the same day. Well, I suppose there had to be some winners.