The Garbage Pile

“Snow on the garbage pile” was a phrase I first heard in therapeutic circles in the early eighties.  For all I know it’s still in use.  It’s a somewhat cruel but descriptive way of pointing out the mess that lurks beneath our facades.  The shadow beneath simplistic positivity.  

Blip Central's injunction “Be excellent to each other” has always been defined as, “if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it!”  I celebrated this philosophy on my 500th post  saying “The invitation to "Be excellent to each other" is a potent thing.  Like we were all just waiting to be asked.  A bunch of people eager to share what they love whilst treating each other kindly.  A kind of miracle really.”  

When Blip was small and cosy it mostly felt that the culture of only saying nice things fostered diversity and creativity, allowed us to  "meet on the basis of our similarities and grow from our differences" (another borrowed therapeutic phrase), all under the rubric of ‘excellence.’  There is no mention of diversity in Blip Central's definition.

Under stress, as our beloved site surely is, the limitations of that particular definition of excellence (“if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it!”) become apparent.  It can't cope with complexity and leaves little room for nuance.  Expressions of dissatisfaction, and disappointment have been met with silence or censure from Blip Central.   Now there's not even room for "downbeat images" in the mainstream of the culture that Blip is in danger of becoming. 

I do not want to leave, am too invested in the friendships I have formed here for that.  This only really became clear when someone kindly (and quite unexpectedly) offered me the gift of lifetime membership.  Rather to my surprise I found that I wanted to accept it, despite having felt uneasy when it was offered as ‘an opportunity’ (or somesuch) by Blip previously.   Somehow that had felt like a bribe, like a BOGOF offer.  Now it felt like a gift in the spirit that had drawn me to Blip in the first place.  A gesture of generosity.

My reaction to all of the above was to clarify my own definition of excellence (now on my About page/Profile) which is somewhat different to Blip Central’s.  Kendall’s recent post on on clarity  shed more light.  

The chaos beneath the surface is still there - in me, on Blip, in life.  But it’s all precious, all sacred.  Ultimately there’s no such thing as garbage.  Everything is recyclable through truth and honesty with oneself.  That’s my idea of excellence, my guiding light.

I’d love to hear your definition of excellence.  And I’d be delighted to find that it’s a million miles different from mine.  In fact, that would be excellent \o/  (thanks to Lynn  for the new emoticon)

PS I do miss the democratic/public space of the forums, discussions can only be held within the enclaves of our journals now.  A loss to the community, I feel.