Porky Problems

Tucking into a wonderful salty pork hangover cure, I picked something up that didn't quite feel like a scratching.
From what I can tell, it was a square piece of grease proof paper. Safe to say; this oily piece of the unknown has put me off my bar snack!
It's quite fortunate I found this in mine and didn't give the pack to a customer.
Had a very eventful night last night with my friend, Terry. After accidently stumbling into a pub quiz and losing valiantly, we ended up in three different bars. Feeling slightly sideways we decided to get some food and had a small party in subway with one of the people working there who went on to sell me a foot long sub for £4 with anything I wanted inside and 12 cookies for £3!
He was a hero to poor drunks everywhere. The night ended with wearing a strange abb workout belt that sent currents through your stomach causing agonising pain and a fight with a 44 year old man using Nerf guns. I lost, having been shot in the eye and half blind, I stumbled home to bed.
Now, I am feeling sorry for myself at work with a coffee and a sore eye.

I hope all of your Tuesday nights were just as odd!