Onslaught.

My life is an onslaught, an attack on my heart. I've come to realize that i'm no good like this, not to anyone, so i am to separate myself and prevent any further sickness.

It is time to grow up now, I do not want to but it appears that it is being forced upon me. I am not scared of stupid things anymore, in fact the thought of walking about in the dark seems appealing when I think about how scary reality has become.

Whispers from my closest and most important are telling me to give up, I am trying to fight it, but what do I have to lose anymore. I have already lost what was the most important thing in the world.

I am listening to Kill Everybody by Skrillex. On my bed, thinking about everything I can bring myself to think about. Nothing's getting better, but nothing can get worse, no matter where I go i'll be miserable so long as I am like this. So it's time to change, as I have lost everything I started with.

I can't run away this time, This was my chance and I blew it. My lips spout the blades that'll shortly hit my arms sarcastically, with chapped lips i'll sob, naively expecting this to fix itself. It will not. Summer will be spent alone I can tell. I am not scared. You do not want me, you like the idea of me, but when it comes down to brass tax, you do not want a second by my side. For this reason I must go.

No, I can't do this, you're right, but I have to. So I am going to face the truth and throw myself out into the air, from the ledge i've been clinging to with my bare hands, I have given my all, and I have opened my heart, but this time, I've lost the fucking key. You can keep it, what it unlocks will be yours for a long time yet.

~

I want to kill everybody in the world.