His Silhouette...sunset in Tunisia

I have a 'keepsakes' folder..........this is one from there.
I wanted my timing to be perfect......but we'd just taken a pic of us together and the sun was exactly where we wanted it to be......but I decided I wanted one of him on his own.....and just managed to get it before it disappeared altogether.
There are so many pictures I look at now......and wish, and feel myself shaking with the intensity of just wishing, I was back there....in that moment of time, with him.
I was working from home today.........it's hard to be in this house which was ours.  I see so much of him in every single room.....all the things he did to make this place better for us all.
I find myself sobbing uncontrollably for ages.  I go over and over the same thoughts.
I wanted to start to write things down in this blog....for me to have a record of how things evolved for us.......but it's still so very painful.
I will start tomorrow night.....I will be stuck in a hotel room,  on my own....again with nothing to do but think of the life I have lost....the man I am still so very much in love with.....the pain I cannot escape.