Eric

Eric never really recovered from the shock of being turned down for Invalidity Benefit. “Look I’ve got no hands or feet!” he pleaded. But the ATOS examiner would have none of it. “There are plenty of jobs for people like you. Here’s one here. ‘Bird scaring and other general light duties. Would suit someone who likes working outdoors. Garden bench provided’ ”
 
So that’s how he came to be sitting in an allotment, twenty four hours a day, come rain or shine. Because he was an unpaid intern, he could not afford to buy any new clothes and his boiler-suit was well-past its best. The people on the allotment were very generous and brought him cake most days, but his lack of feet meant that he never got any exercise, so he was just getting fatter and fatter.
 
More to the point he was hopeless at scaring birds. To his shame they sometimes even perched on his head. He liked talking to them.
 

He was dreading his next Work Appraisal.