Happy Birthday Mom

Mom would be 96 today if she were still here.  This picture was taken at our wedding in 1972.  She had a great time!  She left this earth in 2006, quietly and peacefully

A friend of mine wrote this for her mother and I immediately identified with it and have saved it in a prominent place in my office where I can remember....

My Biggest Fan

Her soft white hair practically blended with the crisp pillowcase
She closed her eyes, not in a sleep but a restful kind of trance.
I stood next to her feeling helpless as my "biggest fan" lay before me.
The realization that she was losing her courageous battle weighted deep in my heart.

It is such a conflict in my heart, to let her rest or to make use of every moment.  Selfishly I speak.  I ask what she's thinking as she lays so peaceful. 
She said she hears the ocean.  She describes the wharf where we walked,  the crashing waves against the rocks, the smells and sounds.

I too share her peace and through tear filled eyes can picture those summers.  She has given me yet another gift even in her last hours.
She has given me the feel of the warm sunshine and the salty ocean spray on my skin.  She has taken me to a place of comfort when I need it most.

I am so aware of all that she has given - she has given me encouragement. She has given love (unquestioning), she has sacrificed and she has taught me determination.
She has taught me and advised me all my years and now it's my turn.  It's my turn to come forward and to shine with all the strength she has given.

I am thankful for her gift, for her struggles and triumphs, for her insight and example.  I am thankful that I do get to stand here and attempt to give to her some of that strength she has given to me.  I am thankful for her endless love that came in all shapes and sizes into my life.

My mother has been my "biggest fan" throughout my whole life.  
She's been my advocate and my counselor, my teacher and my critic.  She's made me see strengths and done her best to let me see them too.
As she lays fragile and helpless taking me to the peaceful place.

I will always love you Mom.