External Internal

I'm posting a similar shot to yesterday's because it reflects my same state of mind. The rather delirium-induced confidence that I posted about in the early hours of the morning proved indeed to deluded! It turned out that some of my fixes broke other, actually more important things. It was all a bit of a disaster. But I'm not beating myself up. I'm trying to do the impossible. I feel bad at having let people down but I did the best I could in the circumstances. The downside is that I'm going to have to spend much of the weekend on it to try to recover the situation.

Thanks so much for the wonderful commentary on yesterday's image. These last two street shots really do illustrate just what there is to be seen once you start to really look. I don't have the imagination nor the technical expertise to create compelling images, but I've become pretty good at recognising them when they are presented to me. They are there waiting, everywhere, once we start to train our perception to see them. They normally go unrecognised as such because they never emerge out of our mostly unconscious perception of the world. They never get lifted out of all the background clutter of both our busy internal world and the chaotic external world. And I think I now know how to process these images to make the most of what the lens captures. Yesterday's was definitely one of my favourite ever street shots and I was so glad to have found that you enjoyed it too. Thank you.

It's actually a little frightening to be reminded of how much censorship is undertaken by our unconscious mind when it comes to filtering out what it doesn't think we need or want to see. In a mundane way, I was just reminded of this in respect to my kitchen. Over the last few months and weeks I've just not been aware of the gradual accumulation of grime and dust! It's a shameful thing to admit, but my unconscious has been protecting me from the reality of the mess I live in. I actually love order so I've been necessarily blinded to the disorder. Trouble is that now I've noticed I've really got to do something about it. How do you schedule in these background housekeeping tasks when there is always something far more important and urgent to do? I'm faced with the same problem at work. The ultimate cause of the issues I had today was the lack of housekeeping, such as documenting the code, which means that under pressure mistakes get made. But, again, how do you schedule in that kind of thing when every day there is something urgent to be done to meet a deadline? I guess I'm not alone in facing this problem. I have no answer.

Giving time to write this journal up properly today was a little gift to myself before getting back to bug fixing. I should probably have been dusting ... but fuck that. Today at least!