Issue 1 only £1.99! Includes free binder!

Obviously, everyone wants a picture of me. And of my house. So, yeah, I could do a self portrait. Of me in front of my house.

But then where would we be? Well, happy for a while, of course. But with the nagging doubt that, henceforth, life would have nothing left to equal this high point.

So, a better idea is to tantalise you with odd glimpses of me. And of my house. They would build into a cut-out-'n'-keep picture of me. And of my house.

Unfortunately, I have to cover my costs and so, subsequent issues will have to be at the standard price of £6.99*

The publisher reserves the right to quietly give up on the whole project once the number of subscribers dips below a profitable level. Or in the event of acts of God or raids by Barbary Corsairs.