Hey Ewe!

Hey youse pal, aye youse , whit ye daein' there pressed up against the fence, eh? Think this is a girls school? or a kiddies playground, eh? and whit ye daein' wi that camera?.

Think I could'na see ye? Looking at the wife there, eh? Eyein' her up in that weird way ye've got? Why do you no just bugger off and stare at the women in yer own street, eh?

See the likes o you?, I'd put you away so I would, you'd never see the light agin if it was up tae me, see you wi yer fancy photo gear, just pretendin to tak pictures o' the lambin' shed, I know yore gem, pal, dinny think ye can get away wi' it here. Bet ye've no even got a film in there, hev ye?

See the wife there, she's no just for onnywan to lour at, she don't believe in free love, it'll cost ye a bottle of vodka, pal, see you, you foreigners, youse English bastats, think you can just sidle up here an' ogle oor women an tak photos and that??

An its no just me, see the wife's sister there, she's no up for it neither she is, see her she's a right wee stuck up coo she is and her wi a wee lamb as well, no so hoity toity noo is she?

If it wasne fe' me she'd be on the streets, least af all efter her mammy turned her oot, where's she gonna go eh, jist stay wi us, thats all she can dae, and the daddy o' that wee lamb he's no tae be seen is he? Buggered af doon tae Manchester as soon as the lassie missed a month did'nae he, eh?

So you can just awaytefeck so ye can, youse better jist get going afore ah call big Jimbo, he'll sort ye out right quick, what d'ye mean you just wanted to picture her grazin, dinnae gi me that, pal, I ken the likes o' youse, all flash and tripods youse are, aye bugger aff and gi us peace, yer pervert, you.

A drink ye say? A drink, if you think ye can get roound me wi a pint o heavy and a nip you've anither think comin'. Aye all right then well mebbe just the wan..........