Will it end

Chose one of the pictures I love the most.
Had such an awful day.....almost non-stop crying.  Still haven't managed to hold the tears for a full day yet....but today has been so bad.
For all those years, for all these memories....not a single time has he made a genuine effort to see if the kids or I are alright.
How can someone just switch off like that?
I don't think I did anything to be in such torture.
I wish I understood.  I wish he'd at least tried to talk to me.....to try to save it with me.
I keep thinking......knowing.......he feels nothing for me now..........and it tears away at my heart and soul constantly.
I can't stop grieving the life I have lost.  The love I have lost.
I never ever thought he could do this to me......he knows me better than anyone alive, and would know how much pain I am in........and yet I see how happy he is, and how much he is enjoying his life.
And yet.........that's what I want for him.
I just wish it wasn't killing me in the process.