Idiot

I quite literally fell out of my back door when I got back from work today. I twisted my foot, whacked my right knee and hand on the paving stones and landed with my face in the grass crying like a big stupid baby.

It must have looked bloody funny but was excruciatingly painful so Opendoor rubbed some Ibuprofen gel on it when he got back from work and remarked that my leg had turned orange but that's just last nights bad fake tanning.