Crossing the track

Crossing the track involves phoning some man from a yellow phone to ask if it is safe to cross over a single railway track in the middle of nowhere. You can hear the train coming Miles before it arrives. He asks what you are taking across. At this point I am longing to tell him the contents of the ark and roll about laughing but knowing he has heard it all before I own up to the boring truth. Then, given the go ahead open two gates, cross over, close two gates and we are on our way. This crossing has been between a private house and the road since Victorian times, no incidents have occurred but for some reason the powers that be think it necessary to install a telephone to prolong the crossing palaver.