Highly Unsprung

By CynicalWench

Ditched

We've started walking. Dr's orders for Dave and as for me, being of unsound mind and very unsound body, I've outdone myself and got right into it. Two miles or so every night, off the beaten track into the forests and swamps over the way. Good for me and my sweet pastry and cakes waistline. Making room for more i guess. Or at least to work towards breaking even. 

But alas the road to righteousness is paved with danger, usually in the form of gorse bushes, ditches and paparazzi family members. And so it was this day, when the sudden exposure to fresh air made me overreach and speed leap over a ditch and climb a steep ridge in one graceful move. Except i didn't make it. First attempt i bounced back. Large body masses allow for wonderful rebound, like an elephant crossed with a gazelle. Second attempt i ended on my back at the bottom of the 3 ft deep ditch, like an upsided turtle, except one that is lying  on a layer of gorse clutching gorse prickles in its hand as opposed to soft, warm sand. In between hysterical laughter (really a lame attempt to disguise my hysterical reaction at being such an old lady, too soon, too soon), I managed to get Dave and Sam's attention. After they stopped laughing and taking pictures, Sam climbed down to help his good old elephant mama out.

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