Johnny Ball

Look what Waitrose are stocking now. Yes, that's right, Fair Trade condoms! Hooray! Now all the Waitrose shoppers with a conscience can enjoy a guilt free jump. They're only stocking ribbed, mind and I'm a Marmite-flavoured, Union Jack-patterned with built in tickler kinda guy.
They're 'engineered in Germany', apparently. So, yeah, er great, Fair Trade French letters from Germany. Well done, condom people.