Wielding a big stick

I do like a good stick.   And THEY don't mind because if I chew on a stick I won't chew on anything else I shouldn't.

Hey guess what.  ME and SHE were in the back garden, and next door's dog was chasing magpies which were in his garden, and he didn't like it.  So he chased 'em.  As you do. 

But do you know what!!!  They flew right back and dive bombed him, and he had to run away quick smart with his tail between his legs.  And I do reckon I heard a little yelp.

They never ever dive bomb me, but I think that's because the magpies like HIM and HER a lot because they do get mince meat from our house, and that goes down a treat.  And it means they don't dive bomb us.  And they collect grubs from around the garden and do a mighty job, and I think they  know that when I chase them, I don't really mean it.  (Well, actually I do mean it, but we won't tell them).

Another grey day, but I didn't care much, because there were plumbers working on next doors, and I got to bark at them for the best part of the morning, and I did drive everybody mental. 

Well, primarily I drove HIM and HER mental which is the same thing.