Ferry leaving Ardrossan

This is another one from the "why doesn't everyone live in Ayrshire series." I love the tannoy announcement at the start of every sailing which invites everyone on hearing the signal that announces the boat is sinking, to "remain calm". I shall take their advice if it happens when I'm on board. I shall be plucked from the Clyde Estuary with a cheroot in one hand, a dry Martini in the other, wearing a smoking jacket and slippers and remaining calm.