What's in a name?

Quite a lot actually.

I should probably start by clarifying that this isn't me getting a divorce, or separating from Chris. This actually has nothing to do with the state of my marriage (which is fine by the way - 11 years next Friday!)

This is entirely about me, my identity, and after 8 years of being a stay-at-home mum, claiming something of myself back. I got married relatively young, and did everything that was expected of a wedding, because it didn't strike me to do anything different - I was head over heels in love, and delighted to be getting married. Family photos - tick, big white dress - tick, bridesmaids in dresses they'll never wear again - tick, speeches - tick, awkward first dance - tick, great big cake - tick, guests I barely knew - tick, took my husband's name - tick. Nobody made me do it, nobody talked me into it - it just seemed like the expected thing to do, and at the time I thought it was important that any children we had should have the same name as us both. I'm not sure why I thought this, given that myself and my brother have a different surname to our parents and it never caused us any problems, but there you go. I think I liked how grown up it sounded, that we were a Mr and Mrs something. That it made it all more official and real. I can't be sure, it was a long time ago.

But the thing is, (despite spending a few awkward teenage years hating how different it made me sound) I absolutely LOVE my maiden name. It has nothing to do with my dad (complete waste of space). I don't associate the name with him. It's my name. It's who I am. It's a fucking cool name.

So why change it now? After almost 11 years of being Mrs Eldon? Because for quite some time I've wanted to be known by my maiden name in any future professional capacity. Because every time I hear or see "Mrs Eldon" I still think it's Chris's mum. Because if I was getting married now, I wouldn't even consider changing my name. Because I'd like any future successes (and failures!) to be made in my own name. Because I actually think the practice of women taking their husband's names as a given (no deed poll needed, just assumed you will!) is a fairly archaic and sexist practice, from a time when a woman was transferred in ownership from her father to her husband. Because I'd like to lead by example for my children, that just because something has always been, it doesn't mean it always has to be. And because I can. Because I'm Layla Khoo.