Irish Eyes Aren't Smiling

I'm sitting in the back yard drowning my sorrows in cans of Guinness, while munching a green hat and wiping away tears with pages from the Donegal News Why? Ireland has just lost the last of its three games in the European soccer championships.

Bad news: They're as crap as Toronto FC, who are bottom of the North American League. Good news: Their beer is better . . .

Even better news: I'm English (my newspaper clients are Irish). So I'll be able to drown my sorrows again, this time with cans of Newcastle Brown tomorrow evening after England lose!