Who's afraid of the big, bad....

...dog?

Years ago I went through a phase of having dreams about my teeth falling out. They were horrible and I can see them quite vividly now. Well last night I had another one and I can't shake off the feeling of the teeth coming out and the blood and the soggy gum...sorry. Anyway I think these dreams are suppose to mean that I am anxious or afraid, but I'm hoping it was just a bad dream and everything will be sunshine and rainbows tonight. 

It made me think about fears and one of the fears I've had from my childhood is...dogs. It seemed that my fear was one of fun for other people or even an annoyance. They would tut and sigh, "You'll be fine." My auntie had a dalmatian and I'd be ushered into the room....a room that free of a dog was big, bright and airy, but with a dog seemed to shrink. The presence of the dog would suck out all the space.

"See you're fine!" I wasn't fine. I was never fine. I couldn't relax, I couldn't breathe properly, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything but watch the dog. Of course the dog only had eyes for me too and it would always want to come to me...all dogs seemed to zone in on me, they knew. "He only wants to say hello," but I didn't one to say hello. I just felt like crying as he came up, all mouth and tail...all waggly, all jumpy, all sniffy and pawy. I would jump up and turn away which made the dog more excited. 

"Oh we'll put him in the kitchen." As he was dragged out I could breathe again. But I knew he was there. I could hear him whining. I also knew that someone would be careless with the door and he would eventually come bounding back in again to find me. I also knew that everyone would laugh and think nothing of it. Or they would sigh and sometimes get cross with me. 

It was a joke...but not for me. No-one makes someone who is afraid of spiders sit next to them, they may laugh, but they would get rid of the spider. People don't let snakes slither all of those who are phobic of them and say, "Oh it is just wanting to say hello." 

I'm much better now. I do like some dogs, but I don't like a dog to run at me or to jump up. I never want to hear anyone say, "Oh he's friendly," or "He's a big softie," or "She wouldn't hurt a fly." It. Does. Not. Help! It has never helped, in fact it makes me a hundred times worse. It makes me feel like an idiot and all the fears from childhood flood back. 

Flippin' heck, where has all that come from? I've waffled on a bit here. I've actually had a good day too. I had a lovely lie in then whilst I was having breakfast the doorbell went and my cousin made a surprise visit. I then went to the Garden Centre for lunch with Avril, then straight to another teashop for a cuppa and cake with Michelle....

As for tomorrow.......I'm going on a jolly jaunt :))