ups and downs

It's been an overwhelming  week... lots of big and extreme emotions going on.

We also had the latest big social work meeting... they came on mass  to the house to find out how things were going.  It was a good meeting, they got to see us all together and we were able to talk openly about the high's and lows from the last few weeks.  Reassuringly, they all think that our family is developing well and they were able to give us some further insights about the patterns of behaviour that little un is showing and a few additional ideas about how to respond.  Although they also did say that we are instinctively doing the right things. It's good to get that support, as it can be difficult to know what to do for the best.

I'm not going to go into great detail, but little un has been showing anger, confusion, occasionally fear and has been fluctuating between being really clingy and then rejecting me,  as well as being calm and happy and totally chilled. This is all in addition to the general toddler frustrations... so as soon as the social workers pointed out that she is probably grieving and that it is coming over her in waves,  it all made sense...  Imagine your own child being taken away at the age of two to live with another family, how might they respond? They've lost the people that they know and love and everything safe and familiar... and even though things in the new place may be similar or nice they're never exactly the same... 

So the general consensus is that little un is now at the stage where she is starting to feel more at home with us and with me specifically and is now starting to feel safe enough to express the difficult feelings as well as the happy ones. 

So things have been tough,  but comic and happy moments have also happened

I have discovered that I can go to the toilet, get on and off it, pull pants up and down, and wash hands, whilst holding a toddler and a large hardback book of nursery rhymes in a perfect storytelling sitting position... ( all those years at the gym paid off) 

Little uns language skills have suddenly taken a leap forward,  she's combining the word no with specific things and forming short sentences... 

She managed to walk over a mile today, despite offers to carry her or  to ride in the buggy... so she's going to have legs of steel... one day she will be able to squat onto a toilet with her own kids... 

She has also at times, laughed and cuddled and she has a great sense of humour and deliberately mimics people for comic entertainment. 

I love my girl.