Life is never simple with a collie??!!

Went to Marazion.  Walked through the fields to Perranuthnoe.  Walked back to Marazion via the coastal path.


Had a lovely walk but do you know what happened on the way home?..................

................I started feeling a bit sick.  Normally, I’m ever so well behaved in the car.  I never make a sound but today Ann heard me making noises as if I was about to be sick.  So she just ignored me and turned up the radio!  It took us about half an hour to get home and as soon as the car door opened I jumped out and started eating all the weeds around the edge of the car park.  And yes I had been sick in the car.

Ann dragged me away but when we got to the communal courtyard (that we walk through to get to our house) do you know what I did?..........................  I headed straight for the bushes and disappeared out of sight.  And do you know why I’d disappeared out of sight?........  It was because I’d squeezed myself through a little hole in the fence that I’ve not been through for years because Ann told me I was too fat to fit through it anymore???   And do you know what was on the other side of the fence?...................  Lots and lots of grass.

I could hear Ann yelling at me to come back but all I wanted to do was eat grass.  Eventually Ann said, ‘Molly, I’m going to unpack all the shopping cos we’d had to go to Morrisons before I went on my very nice walk.  If you’re not back by the time I’ve done that, there’ll be trouble.’

Obviously I wasn’t back by the time the shopping was unpacked, because all I wanted to do was eat lots & lots of grass, so Ann had to come looking for me.  She met 5 or 6 little people who had tried to play with me but I didn’t want to play with little people; I just wanted to eat grass.

The little people said to Ann, ‘Have you lost a dog ‘cos there’s one over there that’s eating loads of grass?’

Ann said, ‘I own an invisible dog.  That’s why you can’t see the dog attached to this lead that I have with me.’  ‘Thank you for keeping an eye on her.  She’s eating grass ‘cos she doesn’t feel very well and the grass will help to settle her tummy.’

So I got clipped onto my lead and dragged into the house.  And then I sicked up all the grass on the living room floor?!!!

And then I kept asking to go out on the sun terrace so that I could eat all the pot plants, but Ann wouldn’t let me.  So I just had to lie down while Ann went on the internet to see if she could ‘self diagnose’ what was wrong with me.....................  because I’d had what seemed like hiccups for more than an hour.

‘Distraction techniques’ apparently???  .................So she’s played with me, fed me, massaged me, talked to me, made me drink water, cuddled me, and now she’s ignoring me???

I am such a worry at times???!!!

................No wonder my owner has to drink so much wine!!!

PS – All this attention has worn me out.  I’m lying quietly now.  Thank goodness!!!