my heart aches.
though i knew this day would eventually come, i cannot believe that it is coming so quickly. 
i wish i got to know you better before all of this happened- you had such an impact on my life, i would not be who i am without your influence. 
i wish that i got to learn more from you
i imagine that we would have had the most incredible phone conversations, and that we would talk for hours and hours, each being interested in what the other was saying.
i am mourning not only for you, but also for all the time we never got together, for all the memories and moments we did not get to share. 
you were, and are, such an amazing person, and it's not fair that this had to happen to you. i wish alzheimer's never existed.
though i am devastated, i am at least grateful for the time we got to spend together this summer- walking with you, looking at photos, sitting next to each other and eating cherries together, talking to you and loving when your face broke into a smile or you laughed- i will miss how you laughed, because it felt like nothing was wrong or different.
i am not sure how i feel about any sort of afterlife or a god or anything, but i do know that i feel you there with me whenever i am hiking, or looking at the stars, or walking up and down the beach that we used to explore before everything happened. 
thank you, i love you, and i hope that these next few days are peaceful and free of pain. i hope that you can sense our presence and know that we are all here and love you so much. the world will truly be a colder, darker place without you, opa.