Cooking With Chris

I don't have a cookery program on the tellybox. But if I did, it would be called 'Cooking with Chris'. I'd have an assistant chef named Mr. Heinz, and he would prepare all my ingredients and leave them in a tin ready for me to heat up cook.

I'd probably have a Cockerney accent, and quite likely I'd be a little bit sweary. And every so often I'd throw in a saucy innuendo because chefs can do that.

... And every episode would be filmed in a different country, and I'd probably have the first minute of each episode showing me being charming while I travelled to said country on my boat, and this music would play while I was sailing.

I don't have a cookery program, but if I did, it would be just like that.

C