Placement secured

So that's my second year offered by them and accepted by me... Hmm... I should be a lot happier than I am about this.

Honestly though, I am in two minds. Now that I've taken the first year of the course the main thing I noticed is that I'm taking photos that are designed to 'tick off boxes'. Which don't necessarily strengthen my desired field.

Also, I knew that I would raise my children to a certain age before going into work. I was lucky that I had the option to do that, no question. There is the stumbling block though of being old, and introducing yourself into society in a professional capacity with that as a starting point.

Basically, I don't have the blind ambition that youth offers to propel life forward. Everything is in sharp focus, and I don't want to let anyone down. Including myself, which I'm open to. It scares me a little. As long as I stay a student (I could have two more years if I decide to go for my BA) I will be putting off fully getting out there, and will find it that much more daunting when the time has come.

Fortunately, I do know how to just get on with things... which I will and am but there is this pesky internal monologue I can't quite silence.