Subdued

I can't believe that I'm still cleaning out the house. This process has gone on so long. The trouble is that I find it hard to stay focussed because of the amount of energy that it takes. I find the whole thing exhausting. I'm paying the price for having repeatedly dumped a whole load of stuff in boxes because I never had the resolve to sort through it at the time. I guess I could simply dump the lot, but in there are memories that I feel the need to preserve: photographs of the kids, newspaper cuttings, race results. I'm reducing the burden of clutter by 99% but I don't want to erase all trace of my former life.

It feels strange to me to be destroying all this stuff that was so important at the time, and costly too, stuff that was expensive to buy or took a lot of time to create. I try to hold on to the thought that life is all about experience. I think I just want to hang on to a few things that will prompt me to remember some of those experiences. I'll be very happy when I've finally collected those together and consigned the rest to the tip. For now, though, it has left me feeling very flat. This image seemed to speak to me in that sense. I've felt very subdued all day.