No matter the origin, delightful is it's name

Most people think that anything served in a long-stemmed "V" shaped glass is a martini. To us purists, a martini is gin and vermouth-nothing more, nothing less. Or is it?

The modern definition of a classic martini is gin or vodka, a splash of dry vermouth and an olive (yeah I know, some of you prefer a lemon peel twist – if you must, you must) But, back in the old days the original ingredients of the martini were far different from what constitutes even the – admitted - broad definition of what’s called a martini today.

Now then, back where I come from, barkeeps will regale you with the earliest creation stories originating as they did from the days of San Francisco's gold rush. You see, it was during the 1870s at a place called the Occidental Hotel, a bartender (perhaps) named Jerry Thomas, mixed a concoction for a miner who wanted something special, this he did in exchange for a solid gold nugget. The miner, you see, was heading back to Martinez, California, so Jerry named it for the city and the Martinez was born. 

The recipe for this new-fangled drink? A dash of bitters, two dashes of maraschino liquor, a wineglass of vermouth, probably back then sweet vermouth, a measure of gin and a slice of lemon. As you can probably tell, this in no way resembles what passes for today's gin and vermouth definition of a martini. 

However, on the other side of the continent there exists another tale . . . 

An Italian immigrant working as a bartender at New York City’s Knickerbocker Hotel who went by the name of Martini di Arma di Taggia, claimed to have invented the drink before World War I. His recipe contained equal parts dry gin and dry vermouth, with a ‘touch’ of orange bitters. – Interestingly enough, I never heard this tale either – 

Some folk claim Winston Churchill’s mother invented the drink – doubtful -

Yet another ‘legend’ of the martini credits the name to the Martini & Henry rifle used by the British Army for 20 years between 1870 and 1890. (contents unknown, but think gin and vermouth and you’d be on the right track) Both the rifle and the drink – it was said -delivered a strong kick.

As the years passed, the proportion of dry vermouth to gin decreased – thank God. Martinis made with three parts gin and one part vermouth-an extremely "wet" martini, despite the large amount of "dry" vermouth-contrasts distinctly with a "dry" martini, the  proportion of which is 25 parts gin to one part vermouth. To purists, an extremely dry Martini may have the bottle of vermouth simply, and elegantly, shown the top of the glass.

Perhaps the popularity of the martini has more to do with product placement in movies and the multitude of celebrity endorsements played by the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Marlene Dietrich, David Niven, Humphrey Bogart, William Powell, Frank Sinatra and any and pretty much everybody else back in the day. When these scions of society and the “good-life” were seen drinking martinis, everyone wanted to drink them as well. 

However, no one, real or imaginary, has done as much for the (so-called) “classic” martini than a certain British secret agent: Bond, James Bond.

Shocking to most Bond fans, in Ian Flemming's books, Mr. Bond only drank a variation of a martini once. In the book, Casino Royale, a drink christened the Vesper-made of half gin and half vodka-named for the double agent Vesper Lynd, a lady whom Bond loved more than any other. 

But, after Ms. lynd commits suicide Bond never drinks a martini again (in the Flemming books at any rate). In future books, Bond drank everything from beer to bourbon to champagne to you name it, but it was only in the movies that he sipped on a martini after uttering the preposterous: "Shaken, not stirred."

I recognize that to some of you, the succulent siren call of the martini falls on numb tongues. I offer in their defense this simple thought, perhaps, you may not have ever had a proper one. perhaps, it's not the quality of the gin (or vodka) used, but the bottom shelf vermouth. 

It is in my opinion (and this is definitely not a professional statement) A proper French or dry vermouth should be fresh. – Fever Tree or Noilly Pratt are highly recommended by the “person to whom I’m related by marriage” – (when inebriated She does go on about this) “once opened a bottle of vermouth should be consumed within a month and should be stored upright within the confines of the refrigerator”

Last, but not least, “a martini simply is not a martini without having a proper garnish” according to that pair of renowned connoisseurs Captains Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntire. In my case, olives with, or without, decadently red, pimentos are recommended

And with that, Let us all be up-standing and offer a hearty congratulations, hurrah, pip pip and all that rot to Mr. Lewis Hamilton, three time Formula 1 World Champion!!! (and soon to be Sir Lewis, She declares ecstaticly in the background)