I'm Lodging A Complaint

Me:  Why?

Lizzie:  You took me to the vet this morning.

Me:  Well, it was necessary.

Lizzie:  They violated me. 

Me:  They took some blood and weighed you.

Lizzie:  They did something to my nether region.

Me:  I think you're exaggerating.

Lizzie:  It was awful.

Me:  Well, you lost two-tenths of a pound.  Doesn't that make you feel
          better?

Lizzie:  No.  

Me:   Well, you didn't gain anything.  Doesn't that help?

Lizzie:  I suppose.

Me:  What can I get you to make you feel better?  A soft blanket, a couple
         of treats.

Lizzie:  I want a kitten.

Me:  To play with?

Lizzie:  No, to teach.  

Me:  We'll talk.