To flea or not to flea..that is the question

To flea or not to flea...that is the question.To flee or not to flee....flee! Flipping human, chasing me round the place with her flipping ointment! I was chilling out on the sofa and she was gently playing with my neck, spending too much time on what I deemed to be massaging my shoulder blades, when suddenly she pulled a fast one... I was already suspicious but the minute she parted my fur, I leapt up like a firework,and got off that sofa quicker than you can say ' cat treat going spare!'. 'Ha,stupid human, you'll have to be quicker than that',I said to her in a meow, as she was left sheepishly holding that little green plastic thing. I spurted off to her room, she hesitated then pursued,in the false hope I would suddenly have an attack of the submissive, and roll over and let her squirt me,( ha)so I went to my new favourite place...where she can't get me! I now have started leaping from the chair in her room,to the top of her cupboard.It's fun,up there surveying my kingdom.She has put a foam mattress in there, bequeathed by my cousin and mate,Harvey the dog from when he was ill. I feel like my ancestors must have done, leaping for antelope in the wild. Might hang here for a bit in case she gets any more ideas...