Strange

I decided to take the train to my OT appointment in Dorking today. And it was much easier than driving. I had a nice ten minute walk there and it was good to get a bit of fresh air. The appointment itself was fine, just talking through my anxiety I suppose, and agreeing a plan to get me back full time. I don't know how I got to this place. I have those freeze frame moments every now and then when I feel disbelief and wonder how I got here. Again. It's so hard. The day to day routine is easier. I go to work, then get some breathing space in the afternoons. I feel a bit more productive at work, and less of a victim I suppose.

I was back from my appointment by 11:30am, after two lifts from my lovely mummy :-) In fact it actually turned out to be four lifts by the end of the day! In the afternoon I had an appointment with a recruitment company for PA jobs. 

It's just off Oxford Circus, in a little building in one of the quieter backstreets. I was early, and wasn't in there all that long. The ladies were nice, and their office was cosy. I would work there, in recruitment quite happily! The only downside was the pay, i.e.; I realistically need to take a 10k pay cut. And that in order to go forwards, you have to go backwards. Hmmm. Something to think about. Whatever I do, weighing up the practicalities, teaching always seems to come out on top....... :-/

After my visit, I wandered Oxford Street. I thought it would be heaving, but it was no worse than a regular weekend. I went to the Nike store for a browse, but everything reminds me of Tim. We went here quite a few times together, and even though I did go once by myself, it just doesn't feel quite right. Thus, it feels like it will never get better.

I took myself to LPQ on Southbank for my dinner. Soup and a side of roasted veggies. Again, alone. It's ok. I'm used to doing things alone, it's just more fun to have company. 

I was home by 7:30pm, and then had a relaxed evening, no gym as I went last night and my arms are starting to feel sore. I felt quite calm when I got home. It probably won't last.