I promise to upload more..

Right, been about a month that i haven't updated,
Alot has happened.

Where do I start?
Let's start with him, Josh

We had a massive argument about 2 weeks ago, and well, he basically said that he only liked me for 2 days and he just wanted to like me to get over his ex. That fucking hurt like hell to hear
But me being stupid me, I wanted to stay friends. So we have. It was really hard to begin with, but then he told me about a week ago now that he does like me but he wants to be completely over her
So I mean, yeah I'll stick around for him, but I'm not going to wait around hanging on his every move. I'm actually wearing his jumper in this photo, I actually love it, it smells of him. We spend so much time together, it's hard for me to not wait. I mean, it will sound stupid, but when were together at mine, just lying on the sofa, we will hold hands or he will stroke my leg and it just feels so right, so perfect. I hate being so confused. I just want to know where I stand.

So the Saturday after the argument (I think it was a Thursday), me and Rhiannon went to town, and it was such a good night. I met this lad called Andy and ended up pulling him and getting his number. He was Rhiannon's ex's friend so thats how we met. But yeah, we've been texting since then and we went on a date on wednesday just gone, and it was really nice, cinema then something to eat then we went to get him a new denim jacket. When we were walking back up to the bus stop he asked me if he was what I remembered and if he was still alright. I said yes of course because he is, then when we got to the bus stop, he kissed me goodbye and it was then I realised that it wasn't going to go anywhere serious, and then it hit me exactly why. He wasn't Josh

So things are confusing with that. And there's also Chris who I mentioned last time, he wants me to go see him in August, and I really want to, but I don't want to go down there and as soon as I see him for it to be awkward as I will be staying there for a good 4-5 days.

OH And I met Matty in town, he's Kirsty's older brother who I used to have a thing with, and god, I've missed him. We ended up kissing and he bought me a drink, but I dunno, feelings never really left for him or for me. Felt like we were back together. I miss him loads. Even just as a friend.

Enough of that.
Laura (pregnant best friend) is overdue by 4 days, and she is currently 3cm, but the waters haven't broke, so any day soon I will have a godson! :D

One of my best friends called Ali, who I also used to have a thing with isn't well, got a kidney infection which is quite serious supposedly, so I'm constantly worrying about him.

My depression's up and down at the minute really. It's hard with work, trying to see Josh everyday, money problems, now Laura's baby to actually find anytime for myself. I can't even sleep properly. I'm just gonna get to the stage of over tired and just live in a zombie like form for the rest of my life.

I don't think there is much else to say.
I promise I will blog everyday
I'm sorry, I've let you down, forgive me?