Henry

Say hi to storm Henry.

This is getting monotonous. Get up, look out window, watch rain bounce off the window and trees bend. Thanks to the great British public and the Met office we have a whole series of wimpy names to attach to these storms. Look out for storm Imogen looming on the horizon – probably in the next couple of days if things run true to form – to be followed by Jake, Katie, Lawrence, Mary, Nigel, Orla, Phil, Rhonda, Steve, Tegan, Vernon, and last but not least, Wendy.

They should be given names that reflect the ferocity of the storm such as Armageddon, Brutal, Chaos, Despair and so on. Not names that make it sound like they're popping round for a cup of tea. "Had Henry round yesterday, nice chap but he does like to blow his trumpet a bit and doesn't tidy up after himself. We're having his sister Imogen staying for a few days next week. Bursts into a flood of tears at the slightest excuse I've heard!"

I'm off to bed now to listen to my slates being rattled.