One small step for a man

There he sat, in his star-spangled-banner socks, under his own footprint on the moon...

I found two things really shocking while listening to Buzz Aldrin speak. First of all, the mission to the moon, portrayed so flawlessly so often, was ridden with technical difficulties. They almost crashed on landing; almost ran out of fuel; almost didn't lift off from the moon to come back home. It wasn't smooth at all, none of it. But then again, nothing hard ever is, is it?

The second surprise was his temporary downfall after the moon landing. He became addicted to alcohol; his marriage deteriorated (he was married 3 times total). What do you do, when you achieve your life's goals at the age of 30-something??? He talked about it all in a very rational manner, but it was clear that it wasn't all easy for him.

It all made me think about life, about how life simply IS. Nothing is supposed to be any particular way, things just come and go, and it is up to me to choose how I am going to react. Will I stand? Will I fall?

Seaweed on the ocean's floor, flexing and bending with the waves, yet rooted well enough to not be pulled out and tossed upon the shore to die in the sun.

I was delighted to share this evening with LM and HD; I had to leave my night class early to make it. I have missed too many things because of my night classes in the past 3 years. My lowest moment was attending Advanced Statistics on the evening of LM's birthday a while back. We celebrated "biggly" on Saturday, and he certainly doesn't remember or care I wasn't there on Tuesday, but I do. I feel shame and regret when I think about it. Note to self...

I really do hope this PhD takes me where I want to go, and is worth all of the current insanity at the end. There are days I really question the entire academia as a system. So much of it is based on creating complex support structures for people's fragile egos, and I am not very good at diplomacy and politicking.  

Good night, friends.