'Lost World' discovered; Golf Course Planned

Scientists today published the first pictures of the so-called 'Lost World', long suspected to have existed 'somewhere in Edinburgh'. (Reuters)

Tonalt Trumpton, who allegedly can trace his ancestry back generations, later announced plans for 'the best goddam friggin golf course in the world'. When questioned about the park residents such as HM Her Majesty The Queen and MSPs, he is alleged to have asked 'who the friggin do they think they are, tresspassin on my golf course, goddam peasants'.

In an unrelated story, Edinburgh Cooncil announced plans to build a wind farm on Arthur's Seat. Arthur was unavailable for comment.