Perfect....& The Cruelty of Old Age

It was a long day with the folk to day....Mum wanted to wash her curtains ....it was too much for her to do alone (she has BIG windows and Big curtains).......so it was a day of that and doing my mandatory odd jobs about the house.

When my Mum isn't about my Dad talks about stepping off this Mortal Coil...'I think its time for me to go'.


Its a funny thing really...in my waters I feel as if he doesn't have long left...not much of a life for him now. As I got in my car I could see him sitting in his chair the the BIG window...I never know if I will see him again....I drive home thinking 'Not yet , Not yet'....will it ever be a good time?

After our lunch I sat with him while Mum went and got the car....I smoothed down the hair that was sticking up at the back from resting against his chair...fluffy and white. I zooom back in time and imagine him how he was when I was a little girl so handsome and vital and now his ankles are thinner than my wrists and his skin is like paper...my strong  and beautiful father is just a tiny...sick and wrinkled old man.

I worry about my Mum too...it's a very big job looking after him...I can see in her face how tired she is...she wont stop though.
It's cruel when one can't even open a jar of jam.

I just spent a day with them and by the time I get home I would just like to hop into my bed...but there are still things to do yet.....I nearly didnt blip...but I have had this rose sitting on the bench for a special occasion ....and I find it beautiful.....it was a perfect reflection of how I feel right now.


“The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
I know what you mean," said the little old man.”
― Shel Silverstein