Love in the mist or a Night with Nigella

After scrabbling in vain through the flower beds at 11.45 last night trying to track down a pair of snuffling hedgehogs that I had spotted the night before when cameraless, I gave up and reverted to an emergency blip of the wonderful heads of the Nigella.

Against the backdrop of a stuttering watering system the dried seedcases provide nearly as much pleasure as the flowers earlier in the season, soon they will pop and spread their bounty in all the other beds, a free show for next year.

Well documented for their use in Eastern dishes and curries it is not widely known that an infusion of nigella will sooth most members of the male gender to sleep, borne on a vision of comfort and billowing charms. A poultice is rumoured to cure most maladies from manflue to night sweats, and a pinch on a pillow will produce the most pleasant dreams and mild fantasies. The only stipulation is that you have not just to watch the goddess weaving her magic in the kitchen, but also it is recommended that you stuff yourself with leftovers from the fridge before retiring.

Inferior potions like Delias Droppings and Ottolenghi Ointment are not found to be anything like as efficacious, having some of the taste but none of the lingering afterglow.