To reconstruct or not to reconstruct?

"Summer is the season of wear-as-little-as-you-can-get-away-with weather. And everywhere I look I see breasts. Breasts that are barely covered by bikinis. Breasts holding up colorful tube tops. Breasts peeking out from behind skimpy sun dresses. Breasts, breasts, breasts." - I read this on Catherine's breast cancer blog and had to laugh. She took the words out of my mouth!

I had an appointment with a plastic surgeon this Wednesday about a breast reconstruction. It turns out, I am not an implant candidate which somehow made me happy as I never wanted an implant even before I got sick. I am a good candidate for a latissimus dorsi flap where a muscle from your back is used to reconstruct a breast. BUT....this means
- 2 or even 3 surgeries;
- a large scar on my back and possibly abdomen;
- possible loss of muscle function at those sites;

and what if..
- I don't like the end result?
- It doesn't feel like a breast at all?
- there are complications and additional surgeries are needed?

No thanks. I'm going to need all the strength in every one of those muscles to get me through this and whatever else comes my way. I am fine the way I am. Once I was diagnosed with cancer, they just didn't seem important anymore, compared to my life! I learned that my self esteem does not come from my physical appearance.

But I might just get a Tatoo instead of a "look a like" breast!!!! Suggestions anyone?