Beyond my ken

It's late /early. Whatever you want it to be. Been researching all evening. A lot of Orton and kenneth Williams. A prolific diarist. I wonder what he'd make of all this. Man- it always makes me so sad that his suffering beat him. He let himself get the better of him.. Sigh. Can one have a hero who was desperately sad and disliked himself so much? He remains a constant in my life. One of my biggest influences for sure. Contemplating done. To bed.