oh I do like to be beside the seaside

Scarborough; for a blip-meet tomorrow organised by Riversider.

We arrive about teatime and after checking in to our hotel, wander along the Esplanade, people watching.  The extra is Scarborough’s iconic Grand Hotel.  We’re not saying there.

We have a slight detour on the way North to drop a PA monitor off in Leicester for our friend John.  We’re just passing Newport Pagnell Services when I remember that I’d forgotten to let John know what time we’d be with him.  Anniemay offers to send a text message from my pensioner-phone which has miraculously come to life again after being dormant all week.

Me; “just tell him we’ll be in Frisby about 1.00pm”
AM: “where’s the text button?”

Obviously a pensioner-phone is a bit beyond the average iPhone user.

AM: “how do I go back?”

She finds how to delete a wrong letter.  Or two.  But frustration is beginning to kick in.

AM: “where’s punctuation?”

I’m a bit puzzled by this.

AM: “how can I be grammatically correct without punctuation?”
Me; “it’s the bottom left hand button.”  (Darling. Smiley Face).

AM: “I need a number”
me; “it’s in my contacts list”

AM: “No - a number.  A number 1”

It’s an alphanumeric keyboard so that big number 1 ought to be a clue.  I don’t say this of course.

AM; “I’m stuck on caps now. How do I get rid of the caps?”.

It’s difficult for me to explain because we’re doing about 60 mph on a busy motorway and my eyes are stuck firmly ahead.  We’re getting close to Watford Gap by now and at the rate this text is taking we’ll have arrived before it’s sent.  She may as well give him the phone to read.

Eventually the message if finished and sent.  I can see that this has been a major achievement because she’s pleased as punch when a reply arrives a few seconds later.  Now she’d getting the hang of the old-tech pensioner-phone she quickly dashes off a reply.

AM: “ shall I send a kiss?”
Me; “no”
AM; “go on”
Me; “NO”

I don’t know what she replied but when we arrive John gives me a funny look.  She tells him that  she sent the messages.  He gives her a funny look.