Treating myself

Why is it when I get overwhelmed with life I stop blipping?

I love this place. It's almost as if In denying myself one of the few things that is a direct reflection of me I feel less guilty.

I remember when my Mom died I was paralyzed for months. I couldn't do a thing. I was busy packing up my home to move in with Dad. Since there was no room I had to get rid of almost everything we owned and move in to a small space with WAY too much stuff. My life was boiled down to two rooms and a lot of boxes.
This time I packed up my Dad's things. I gave away clothing and packed up those I cant bear to let go of yet. Looking at everyday objects can make memories flash into my mind.........they play as if a movie is in my head.
I can't describe the feeling. It's disjointed. There are so many emotions all wrapped up in a ball, at any given time one lets loose.
That being said, It is 6 weeks and I shouldn't feel guilty to still be in this strange place. It's like I am in an anteroom waiting for the rest of my life to happen.
In the meantime life goes on. Bills get paid, meals are prepared and laundry is done. ...........and another week ends.
Here is the cool part,....... as one ends,.........one begins.
I have been promised this.
Until then, I am up ended. A bit off, but still me.
These boats are at Cape Porpoise, Maine. I have a shot of these from last 4/17 on my wall at work. Taken on an overcast day, the colors are subtle and soothing. Not so with this one. The harshness of the sun gave them a different look that kind of echoed my mood.
So tomorrow, new day. I am going to continue to try and blip and respond and comment.............hang in there with me please.
Oh and notice how I tied it all in? You know up ended? Yeah stay tuned I still got it.
And Tony Tigerbear is wicked mad at me. He will be back.