Parenting, 2016

Today Bella had gymnastics after school, so I joined the ranks of the patient, noiseless parents in the gym observation room, and I silently thanked them for their labors: the hours they spend driving children to lessons, practice sessions, recitals, exhibitions. If there are two parents--bargaining, arguing, discussing, and deciding: this and not that. This school or activity and not that one. If there is only one parent, missed hours at work and necessary apologies; budgeting, prioritizing. Money for classes in this, shoes for that, instruments, art supplies, uniforms, and trips; hours of showing up to applaud their efforts, encouraging, cheering, reminding them to practice. 

Unlived longings of the parents expressed through the children. Desires to give the children opportunities they didn’t have or experiences they enjoyed. Fulfillment of some idea of what a good parent would or should do. 


This morning one of my elder son’s ex-girlfriends posted on Facebook a heavy metal song performed by a Canadian woman in her late sixties. She’s known as Grindmother, and she recorded the song as a way to support her son’s band. "Any cost democracy, any cost environment, to benefit the rich." I’m no expert in heavy metal, but I think she’s marvelous. There’s no end of what a parent will do.... (If you're as fascinated by Grindmother as I am, there's a vocal session here that shows her working with her son.)