Saying goodbye to Gerry

Today was Gerry's funeral.

Max, Zebedee, Gulliver  and I picked up my Mum from the home at 10 and set off for Worthing crematorium, although the funeral wasn't until 1.20 we wanted to make sure we had enough time. It's very hard getting Mum in and out of the car and on and off the loo, Zeb and Max did the car and Max and I did the loo, everything takes a long time. We only stopped once at the services for lunch, Max kindly took Mum's nail varnish off so I could repaint them as my nails were already painted  (see extra). The other extra is a family shot some years ago in Bushy park, l2 r Gulli, Gerry, me, Zeb, Lola, Tom and Mum.

From our side of the family we were also joined by my brother Tom, Aunty Jojy and husband Chris, Aunty Bonnie and husband David and their daughter Sophie.

Gerry has 3 daughters and one son, all married, 7 grandchildren, mostly married and 7 great grand children.

His children Candy, Debbie, John and Rachael did the funeral themselves (no religious aspect as per Gerry's wishes). John started by reading an overview of Gerry's extraordinary life as a champion swimmer, outstanding Army,  Raf and Police careers including hundreds of parachute jumps and time living in Ceylon and Hong Kong, an amazing Husband to his beloved late wife Patricia, Father, Grandfather, Great grandfather and friend and latterly unfailing partner to my Mum.

Then the 4 children in order of age read their own readings recounting special memories and giving thanks for having had such an incredible Father.

Then we played Easy like Sunday Morning by the Commodores and I read a speech on behalf of our family, my cousin Sophie stood by my side for support and was willing to take over if I hadn't been able to finish it but I did.

Then a reading from Gerry's dear friend Ann and then from 2 of Gerry's grandchildren followed by laying roses on the coffin, as it turned out Mum laid the last one, max lifted her out of the wheelchair so she could reach the coffin and she broke down, her crying was the only sound.

It was a beautifully moving service and I think it was as lovely as it could have been.

Back to the house for food and drink and slideshows of Gerry's life put together by John, Gerry's son, showing him as a baby, at home with parents, his career, his family and up until his time with Mum and us, it was lovely to sit quietly and watch it and reflect.

We left about 5 and managed to get home without stopping, the staff at the nursing home were very supportive and Mum was fine with us leaving her with them, I'm sure she was shattered.

My speech
Gerry used to drive the bus for the stoke club in Brighton and my mother Lizz assisted by helping people on and off the bus and that is how they met, they were friends for many years and Mum always spoke very highly of him.

Sometime after losing his beloved Pat Gerry asked Lizz if there were any decent restaurants near her house and she replied that she didn't know! When she told us we pointed out that he may have been trying to ask her out for a meal, she raised her eyebrows with genuine surprise and asked us what we thought she should do, we suggested that she rang him up and told him she'd thought of one, next time we spoke we asked Lizz if she had taken our advice and she said she had and that she'd recommended the all-you-can-eat Indian at the end of her road, clearly this did the trick and so began their 10 year romance

Gerry brought so much joy into Lizz's life, whisking her off to exotic locations she had never visited before such as the Galapagos Islands, the Maldives and Borneo where he had her trekking through the jungle after wild orang-utans clinging in terror to trees along a walkway suspended hundreds of feet above the ground, let's just say she made it home in one piece. Gerry also drove them around in his camper van which they both enjoyed very much. They had a special bond with Lizz's sister Jojy and husband Chris and they shared many happy visits to each other's homes and places of interest and enjoyed countless long walks and pub lunches.

Gerry has been a loyal and loving partner to Lizz, and a great friend and inspiration to her whole family, he never seemed like an old person and was more vigorous than most people half his age including Max and I, he could drink us under the table and yet he was always up first in the morning bright eyed and bushy tailed. 
We were constantly amazed by his staying power, enthusiasm, humour and stories of his incredible life. Gerry has been a wonderful grandfather to Zebedee and Gulliver, with his boundless energy and tremendous capacity for fun he was always up for boardgames, walks, adventures and crazy photo shoots with Max no matter how ridiculous the concept! 

Gerry helped my mother to clear and sell her house and looked after her for as long as he could when her health deteriorated, standing by her through thick and thin.

Thankyou so much to all Gerry's family for being so kind and welcoming to Lizz and all of us over the years, we all loved him very much, our lives are richer for having known him and we will miss him and remember him always. Our love and thoughts are with you all at this sad time.