Cailleach

By Cailleach

On Yer Bike....

This revolting piece of flat-tyred junk, has languished in our stairwell for ages. With a layer of dust as thick as the eyeliner on the Chanel salesman in Frasers, it annoys me every time I pass it. It has not moved so much as the length of a bicycle chain for over 5 years! It's a nuisance, an eyesore and a disgrace.

Why, I ask myself, doesn't the owner either use it, or give it away? (Or more realistically, bearing in mind the condition of it, throw it in the canal take it to the dump?)

Well.....my excuse is, that the saddle kept descending mid cycle, and I never got round to buying a new one.......

I only said it was my excuse. I never said it was a good one!

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