16...

I really like this painting...kind of like a contemporary floral display...it's not real, just a photo from a magazine, but I really do enjoy it. I love abstract work...the fact that it doesn't necessarily have a meaning, the way it leaves the interpretation open to the viewer...

Noah and I are slowly starting to work on things...at least on our friendship...we are able to have a decent conversation and laugh, so that's a start. It's not going to be easy but I'm going to try. In order to move on from all of this - things from the past need to be dealt with and taken care of. I've asked him to do certain things - but I don't think he knows how important it is to me, it may be small to him, but it's pretty vital to me, in helping me move on. We are also going to talk to the therapist and see where it goes - just have her at least give us a start to healing - right now I just don't know where to even begin to forgive and trust.

As much as I love Noah and I want to see things work out...I'm so freaking scared to trust again, to get comfortable...that's what it pretty much comes down to. He knows it will take time. And it's something that we have to work on together - every single day. We all tend to get busy in our lives and focus on things at hand, but you know, it's about priorities and making time when something is important to you. I know it's a risk...but I'm willing to take it, it's worth it to me, getting that love back. Who knows...maybe years down the road we'll look back on this and think yeah, we're stronger for having gone through this...

This is really turning out to be a long week! Meetings galore yesterday - planning for my trip to Phoenix next Monday, I literally land...grab the rental car and head to the office for a meeting. I really don't like rushing around like that. I also got a look at the travel ahead for 09...it's going to be a busy year! Seattle, L.A., New York, New Jersey, St. Paul, Atlanta, Virginia, Wisconsin, Boston, Birmingham...quite a few others. They're quick meetings - just two days and one of my lead Engineer Specialists is traveling with me. I enjoy traveling...but wow, trying to figure out how I will do that and plan a move across the country!

And finally...to prove that men and women will never ever see things the same way. Guys...be careful with your Christmas gifts this year ;) Takes a while to load, so start it...pause it...and check back on it in about a half hour! Well worth it...it's too funny! Unfortunately I'm not a jewelry girl...nope, chocolates don't work either...neither do flowers ;)